Full of exercise and caffeine induced endorphins I got perhaps a little too cocky for my own good and decided to post all about how awesome I was being on my Facebook Page (which you should totally like by the way). I have included a screen capture as evidence:
Looking back now, all my gusto and self-given pats on the back were probably not prudent. I say this because very shortly after posting the above status message I managed to promptly burn the crap out my ear with my Chi straightening iron. Now maybe this doesn't seem strange, especially to those of you reading this who may be of the male gender, but it takes a lot of work to burn yourself on a beauty devise that keeps the hot plates pretty much incased in heat resistant plastic. In fact I've never done it in my many, many years of hair straightening because it's pretty much impossible. Yet here I sit with an ear burned so badly it scabbed over in a visual reminder of how talented I am. Impressive.
But that was just the beginning. Leaving for work (as noted in my status update I have no class on Mondays) I managed to slip and fall on perhaps the only icy portion of the curb in front of my house. Of course I didn't simply fall, rather I had a full on, hard hitting meeting with the concrete edge of the curb and the muck filed gutter. I was also holding on to my MacBook Pro. Now I can count on one hand the number of times the thing has come to work with me because this was the only time. Monday was making me her bitch it seemed.
As I hit the patch of ice with my heel, I grabbed the door of my Subaru in a flailing attempt to save myself from both pain and embarrassment. If you are familiar with Subarus, you might also be familiar with the fact that the windows on the doors feature no casing around the tops. Instead, they have windows where the glass exposed. Naturally this is where I grabbed hold, sending the glass - beveled, but still freakin' glass - into the flesh of my hand as my legs went up and out in an entirely ungraceful fashion. My hip met the concrete and my computer hit the ground though I still grasped it white knuckled.
I was bruised and battered, embarrassed and immediately found myself checking the state of my poor computer rather than the state of my limbs. Luckily, my Mac was fine and my body was only a bit worse for the wear. My pride however was not so fortunate as a hipster on a fixed gear took enough time to slow down and laugh at me. I hope his break-less bicycle eats shit with him on it.
While I'm alive and now only slightly embarrassed, Monday morning taught me an important lesson in being humble and not thinking I'm too awesome. You just don't go messing with Mondays.
I'll see you next week, Madame Monday.